Saturday, June 25, 2005
11:49 PM
Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth
to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen
You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand
And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace
Thursday, June 16, 2005
3:10 AM
I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for 5 seconds, that's all I was going to give it. So I started to count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Then it was gone.
-Jack, Lost
not just fear, it works for anything you wanna let go from your mind, when you close your eyes and let whatever it is engulf you: regret, pain, memories, blahblah. and when you're at 4, tell yourself that it'll be the last time you'll ever be feeling that way again.
but of course, there's always prayer haha
2:22 AM
regret
i dont like it
and i hate what i did to feel it
Sunday, June 12, 2005
10:10 PM
fifa street on xbox rocks hahaha
Saturday, June 11, 2005
11:30 PM
ad1 at the resort! :) 
11:29 PM
me and dona! 
11:24 PM
me and kid terror juli, before he was hyper 
11:23 PM
my class in ekang anchulai! 
12:48 AM
ok i'll just blog as briefly as i can bout my ocip trip to bintan, only cos its worth blogging about..and i'll forget the details if i delay blogging bout it..
day 1 (1/6/05):
we got to our dorms and found out that it would be all 15 guys sleeping side by side on mattresses, and sharing a bathroom with two shower cubicles and two squatting shitholes with no flush..not very welcoming at all haha..had our first facilitation and then made our way to the village in a bus..non aircon too may i add..and in bintan that was not a good idea..haha but ohwell we eventually got used to it..we passed by a guardpost with barbed wires and stuff..signifying a clear divide between the villages and the bintan resorts..one look at the village (called ekang anchulai) and i was like o_O..no roads, sand everywhere, simple houses, to put it simply, the most basic of civilisations. and to think that i thought the dorms were bad enough. we arrived at the school, there were only 3 small classrooms, a small courtyard, and a large area of sand as a play area. oh and a small rubbish dump at the side. the teachers there were DAMN slack, we soon realised that they didnt even know much english either. so our job began, me, meishi, eunice, shar, fiona, seeyun, jolene, jessica, julius and wayne as teachers and the bunch of guys as librarians. seeyun jolene and i were kinda clueless bout what to do with our class at first, cos we were told not to start the actual teaching yet. we had to rely completely on translators and some hand signals here and there to get our message across to the kids. considering we had to come up with impromptu activties for that day we did a pretty good job :) we taught them tic-tac-toe (which soon became a favourite: they beat me on the last day hee), london bridge, twinkle twinkle little star, old mcdonald and some other games like dog and bone. it was really encouraging to see how happy and enthusiastic they were about playing such simple games, cos i guess kids at such an age back in singapore wouldnt have been so enthu (they were arnd 9yrs old btw). maybe its also how we take such games and all for granted back here, like its a norm, but there it was something completely new for the kids. oh and we also found out that these kids had to walk an average of 5-8km to school? it just showed their desire to learn :) so day 1 with the kids was pretty much a success :) we left the village and went for dinner soon after. had some really good seafood by the sea, or lake or whatever, it was too dark to see anything. the first of many good meals to come :D the hockey girls introduced drinking goggles to us (bloop!), the first of many fun games to come during the trip. hahaha..AND when we got back i finally learnt how to play taidee wheeee, the game which became the #1 source of entertainment for the guys during the trip. how much laughter we had while playing every night man, when talking about how the losers were in the shitpit hahahaha ok you had to be part of it to see the humour, how animesh and "sleepy D" deepan would perplex everyone with their throwing-big-cards-like-free antics, and how some people would perpetually be stuck at the bottom 3 places throughout hahaa. it was a good start to the trip, i didnt miss anything back in singapore at all. or maybe i was just too tired to haha.
day 2:
we had a whole day of teaching. took a grade 5 and grade 1 class in the morning and the usual grade 4 class in the afternoon. taught them colours and weather if i remember correctly. i could already single out the more eager learners as well as the smarter ones. oh and some of the kids had cool names too! like fernando and jericho haha. AH YES. the 2nd day marked the emergance of the mini-havok machine, a cute little boy called juli. YES LOOKS ARE VERY DECEIVING. everyone was like aww so cute but he when he unleashed his terror, piang. he would go down on all fours like some primitive being and growl like some idunnowhat. and then pounce on his target mercilessly. yes, he was that vicious. haha i took the rascal on, managed to somewhat subdue him but when the bugger was re-energized he came back with 2 friends, having already devised a crafty war-plan. the end result? one being used as a diversion and when i picked him up another pulled my pants down. CHEEKEN. not all the way down tho, and anyway my tee still covered my uhh..yeah..so in my mind i was like RAHH I PLAY WITH YOU AND YOU DO THIS..but thinking back i guess that was one of the reasons why the kids really liked me in particular by the end of the trip, ok not cos my pants went down, but cos i actually played with them in their way. thats the way with all kids i guess, just do what they do and you'll get along perfectly well with them :) yes that kinda summed up the 2nd day at the village. okay back at the dorm, we started playing hand tennis in the facilitation room when lynn n the other teachers (ng xy, marhaini n ms toh) went off to buy us snacks, speaking of which, i think i must have eaten the most ritz+lemon biscuits+raisins+chips during the trip. haha anw waimay and i were a super unbeatable team and were owning everyone at hand tennis doubles, UNTIL i made a heroic dive and smashed my head on a powerpoint on the wall. the thing must have been made of damncheap material man (either that or i have a strong head), cos the casing was shattered. and i had a big balakoo on my head blahh..for the record none of the teachers confronted me although i heard that someone told on me muahaha. true havok sia, wreckage without punishment :) later that evening we went to pasar oleh oleh, the local shopping village. oh oh it was there that animesh came up with what was one of the jokes of the trip. ok we saw this dickhead keychain in one of the stores (as in LITERALLY a dickhead shaped keychain). that was already funny enough. then i showed it to meishi and she was like "uhh maybe its just seashells!" and animesh responded with "more like COCKles" hahahhahaha shit..congrats to ani btw for making me laugh the most during the trip :) we played more daidee when we got back, and that summed up another great day :)
day 3:
ok teaching-wise it was pretty much the same. we taught the kids movement and taught them how to play "Zach says" hahaha :) OH and i think i must have taught them really well, cos on the last day when waimay, denise n debra joined in, hahahah ok lets just say the kids were more attentive to my call eh :p the kids were really responsive! especially those like eddy, nanta and anwar in the 5th grade and dona and mirza from the 4th grade. they would be really attentive and eager to copy down whatever we taught them. :) super day! oh and i didnt get attacked! wow! mainly cos juli was suddenly in an antisocial, stoned mood. and he stayed that way for the rest of our time there :( by then i started to notice a look in the childrens' eyes. it was like, a look that simply oozed desire to learn more, as well as a kind of compassionate look that said "thank you for being here" :) it was really heart warming man, from a teacher's point of view :') so back to the dorm. haha i got into a real big quarrel with marhaini in front of everyone cos she shouted at us guys for being late and i sorta, talked back hehe :p ok i guess it was unnecessary anw. but as we were walking to our dinner venue and we were all kinda pissed, animesh suddenly went "oh shit i had no time to dry my hair" hahahahha that was like how out of point at that time and all of us just couldnt stop laughing, especially considering how animesh was the only guy who brought a hairdryer along for the trip, even the girls didnt! oooh but then came one of THE nights of the trip. the night mangrove tour. wahhh. sitting in the boat, enjoying the breeze which so lacked in the day, getting close to the fireflies, gazing at the magnificient starry sky, and basically submerging ourselves in the peace of nature :) picture it now..even if you werent there you can tell that it was just surreal. our one hour ride was seriously not enough man. and when the guys got off our boat, we looked around at each other and were like "shit this is the wrong company to be with man" hahaha but how true that was. sigh. i want it again nowwww. OH and meishi claimed the title of indo hotstuff hahahaha. her boatman was apparantly in love with her hehehehhehe "i want to give this flower to MEISHEEE" HAHAHAHA :) so the day ended happy again. thank god for stars :)
day 4:
taught in the morning only, introduced the 5th graders to greetings, everything went well, more or less, played tic tac toe and zach says again hahaha..oh and before we left the 4th graders that we usually taught in the afternoon saw us, and some intentionally pulled a long face to show their disappointment. seriously man, it looked as if they came to school just to see us. :') we went for a fishing tour after that. had to wait for the rain to subside and during that time, jolene eunice and SLEEPY D were forced to participate in a local dance :D deepan dancing=hahahahahha but full marks for enthusiasm :) the fishing trip was pretty interesting. the ad1 girls' boatman was threatening to capsize their boat throughout :p i caught a cute baby crab on a small island! but after much persuasion i was compelled to let it go "zach you'll kill it if you bring it back blahalbllahlah..hmph" hahaha oh and when we were walking in the water we stepped in this mossy area and really it looked and possibly felt like shit hahaha :p a true shit pit man. deepan was forced to release his hermit crab too. oh and quote of the day by bong: "making animesh wear tight underwear is like putting deepans hermit crab in a matchbox" HAHAHAHAHA. oh and another from animesh which went:
(animesh comes out of toilet after shitting)
peter: ani you touched my stuff, did you wash your hands after shitting?
animesh: where?
hahahaha true blue king of the shitpit :p
we had a SUPER BBQ dinner that night, wah i miss the bbq squid, and my tummy was getting really big by then hehe. we went back to pasar oleh oleh and lo and behold! we found an AIRCONDITIONED room! superrr. we stayed there and played mafia, another favourite game during the trip, as well as another game that deepan EXCELLED in :p so that ended another great day, oh and animesh and i became trendsetters by buying a BINTAN BEER tshirt wahhhh..booze brudders eh :p
day 5:
to me, one of the most meaningless days. miss ng prepared worship in the morning tho, it being a sunday, that was really nice :) we then set off on a one half hour ride for whatever the name of the capital of bintan is, i forgot :P we played lan at the first shopping centre, and the arcade at the 2nd shopping centre. honestly i think most of us just wanted to go back to the village. joke of the day was over lunch (nice seafood again!) and once again from animesh: "eh you know ben always wanks at me when he sees me..oh shit i meant winks" HAHAHAHAHAHAA i know you must be thinking im mad for remembering all these jokes but seriously man, at that time these were just priceless moments :P OH and another episode from meishi's hotstuff life took place at the fast food restaurant. hehehhe im sworn to secrecy, but PEACE AND LOVE EH MEISHI :P oh and that night, a group of us went outside our dorms after playing daidee :) and talked for quite awhile, pretty cool :) ah yes and the roshan in motion was identified :p so we went to sleep, knowing that the next day would be our last day teaching the kids :(
day 6:
we found out really late that we couldnt teach that morning cos of i forgotwhatreason. oh cos it was a school hol or something. the kids still came back for lessons tho, really touching :) the morning was spent painting the community hall of the village, pretty tough work but it was worth seeing the end product :) all of us had paint sploshed all over us by the end of it. we didnt teach anything during our final lesson with the kids, we just gave out sweets, took lots of pics and played their favourite games :) zach says again, as well as tictactoe. we also gave out pens to them, and they were really really happy when they found out that they were gifts. small things make a damn big difference yes :) it made me feel kind of regretful that i didnt bring more stuff from singapore. we also set up a mini garden in the village, mdm marhaini helped out, pretty touching to see that :) so we left knowing that it was the last time we'd be interacting with the kids, cos our purpose there the next day would just be for the opening of the library.
ok now here's a pause from the account of what happened. a question: what made this trip so meaningful? well i guess one of the main things is seeing the joy that you put in someone else's life :) sometimes back in singapore you do alot of stuff for people but you dont really see the effect it has on them, you might not even get a thank you, so you kinda overlook your worth at times. the diff in bintan? simple things like the kids remembering your name and shouting it out when they see you from afar, their excitement or shyness when they see you, the sheepish grins that they give when you teach them individually, the way some of the girls would put your hand to their nose as a sign of affection, the sad faces that they pull when you leave at the end of the day, the way they just cling to you and wanna be around you, even the way they fight and play with you as if you're an equal, and their desire to learn when you teach. you need to see it for yourself to feel the love :) its then that you know that you've made a real big impact in someones life, and that your unselfish heart of servanthood and self sacrifice has reaped its rewards :)
day 7:
so it finally came to a close, we went to the village for the opening ceremony of the library. GREAT JOB to the guys who made it possible, and andrea of course. arhhh laddies good job there ;) the small room was just transformed into a cozy learning facility..power :) shen quan made a cool speech during the ceremony that made lynn tear hehhehe, but he had every reason to man, for all the effort he put into planning everything to perfection, and i mean nothing short of perfection. he was the one that made it possible for us to change the lives of others and at the same time see a different side of ourselves. he taught us undying care and concern, from how he ensured that deepan n jessica got sufficient medical attention, to how he would make sure we'd get the best of everything, whether it be food or rest. no one could take his place on the trip man, seriously, no one. so heres a big thank you :) the final day of our trip would be spent in style, we stayed at some resort called nirwana if i remember correctly. everything there was super, the pool, beach, food, AIRCON AND BATHTUB, the last night was a super one, played lots of cards, had one heck of a time with the guys, i got high on redbull+sarsi, and had a nice talk by the pool at night :) life of luxury man. a good way to end off everything :)
so yeah that was bintan 4, and so much for my brief summary man this took 3hrs to type :s and now heres thanks to all my teammates, especially those whom i got closer to during the trip, basically all the guys, ad1 girls, waimay, the twins, shivali, seeyun, jolene and audrey. good job everyone :) some kids out there are thinking of us now :) whenever you feel life is meaningless, just think back to what a big difference you made :) and as always, glory to God :)
12:20 AM
i just got reminded of the pensieve from harry potter books..the basin-like object which u can use to store selected memories and then relive them again from a third person view whenever you want to..wahhhh i want one man..beats blogging any day..ok this just looks like im reiterating the fact that im sick of blogging hahaha
Friday, June 10, 2005
5:53 PM
ive become too lazy to blog anymore hahahaha
