Thursday, February 08, 2007
2:58 AM
i've finally decided to start blogging again since I have so much free time thanks to my jolly, all expenses paid, long break from the army. I guess its most appropriate that the first thing i talk about is my knee.
On hindsight, its really amazing how much a torn ligament can alter your life, and serve as divine revelation to the plans that God has for you. Either that or you can just view it as "Right ACL tear + torn meniscus = long break from NS hoohahooray". Whatever way you choose to look at it, it's still undoubtedly a good conversation topic ("yeah they took this muscle out to replace that torn part..amazing right"), a convenient method of bringing out the motherly instincts of females ("ohh poor you, you can't walk! i'll visit you sometime with lots of goodies don't worry!") as well a +10 boost to your hero status ("wow you must have gone through so much pain! so brave!") At this point I have to stress how much I love all the people who made me feel like a king over the last month, you have no idea how grateful I am to all of you :)
So anyway, how on earth does any good come out of torn ligament, when I'm unable to get into OCS and become a pilot and all the jazz. That ran through my head about a million times when they declared me to be unfit to carry on with bmt. From soccer captain to lame soldier, quite big difference you know. It took me a whole afternoon to come to terms with it, and finally i remember making a declaration: "whatever happens from now God, I know you're behind it all." And it was done. It was a crucial turning point, cos it made me aware of what God was doing around me, how he was using my lameness to his glory. Its the beauty of prayer: you claim something in your life and you see how whatever unfolds is aligned to God's perfect plan.
So anyway, God showed me that I wasn't going to disintegrate and become a worthless, forgettable figure in the army. For starters, I was able to be a source of encouragement and a beacon of God's truth and light to the guys around me. I observed that God gave me more opportunities to talk to more pre-believers about him than I ever had while I was in JC. All in the span of on month. Abbas, my bunkmates, dickson, jingwen, jaimes, my fellow OOTs, it was amazing how God crafted a situation where I was able to meet and interact with these great people.
You can call it sheer dumb luck, uh ok so mike just happens to be my friend and church mate for the last 2 years and ends up in my company and ya jingwen just happens to have an injury which forces him out of bmt and gets posted to the same place as I. Plus ronald and chris my best friends in jc both get injured with me and again, posted to the same place. I call this divine intervention, and a clear sign that God can shape things in a way that gives you what you need, whether it be friends or whatever.
So anyway i get posted to oeti, and into the same course as a whole bunch of great guys, i'd name all but i'm lazy haha. Once again, I could see how my knee injury had landed me in the scenario that i was in, and how God had moulded that scenario into a beautiful one that reflected his greatness. There are countless examples that serve as proof of the great fellowship that I had with most of the guys at oeti, and all i can say is that i thank God for all of that. Ok well, there are still some who'll say that all this was luck at work again. Right. So, as luck would have it, i suddenly got foot and hand rot for honestly-i-dunno-what-reason and it was followed by another recurrance of my knee injury. No luck la maybe. It caused a surprising load of trouble, to cut everything short I was re-vocated to a desk job which first seemed like an utter bore cos I was literally alone in an office for the whole day without any of my oeti friends boohoo. You realise how despondent I sound cos I haven't used the big G in this situation yet. Yes, God.
So I pray again, and soon I notice the utter brilliance of my new life. A typical day in December: My office resounds with the music of my ipod as I draft christmas cards and await my early 12pm fall-out cos I'm clearing my annual leave in the form of half-days. Yes you will say, you didn't need to pray to find out your current life was obviously some wicked good stuff. Truth though, is that I did. I realized that when I hadn't yet committed the situation to God I was focussing more on how I was surrounded by people who weren't on the same wavelength as me i.e. officers and how I was pretty much alone in my new job. Even more so about how I was definitely impacting more people when i was around the oeti guys, while now I was jvery much a loner. You see, when you look at your life through your own 2 eyes, you're only given a limited perspective of goodness, such that when it's taken away from you, you feel empty and yearn for past glories. I'm not saying all of us are like that, but I know that when you look at life through God's eyes, you can definitely see goodness streaming out from every facet of your existance, because you know that he is the author and perfector of your faith, and ulitmately, your life.
So as you can see, one small muscle tear really changed alot of things in my life over the last year, and I didn't even focus on the immediate effects of it, like not being able to play football as freely as I would like to. In summary, I finally felt God's calling to go ahead with the knee operation and I'm currently witnessing a phenomenal recovery. To anyone who has any physical injury: lookie here, God heals. To those who feel disillusioned with life and have lost hope: God promises great things always, just ask for it. To everyone who's read this entry: every problem in your life is like a torn ligament, amazing things can come out of it.
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
3:18 AM
from the day i was born,
you just seemed to grow on me.
i'd stroke you adoringly,
wanting you to look beautiful.
i'd tug at you when i was stressed;
you were with me through it all.
your style was undeniable,
even through your growth and times of loss.
you were ever-present, you completed me,
soft to the touch, the shelter you gave me.
i'll miss you,
my hair
Monday, January 30, 2006
6:54 PM
I think my knee injury can go down as one of the most demoralising things thats happened to me in my life, and one of my biggest tests of faith. These last 2 months have been utterly crappy. Not being able to run or kick a ball without my knee giving way really sucks man. Plus all sorts of ominous signs like people telling me how their injuries have affected their physical activities for life blahblahblah..But having said that, i know that God'll manifest his miraculous healing by the time i enlist, my knee will be much stronger than before, and i'll be able to go into crunching tackles, burst past opponents and blast the ball into the top corner again. AMEN :)
we live by faith and not by sight
Friday, January 27, 2006
3:17 PM
wah crap next weeks gonna be my last week at my slack and fun job at the kindergarten..bah..haha the two 4yr old kissing kids were at it again during class today..they were dancing to some music and yeah smooching..so i went up to them..
me: oy you shouldnt be kissing him
girl: but i love him!
me: is that riiiight..and how do u know u love him eh?
girl: i dont know..i just do!
i think all girls should stay this way hahaha
Friday, January 20, 2006
4:05 PM
Harry: "Mr Zach, I need to poo poo"
wah yes. very fun. very.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
7:11 PM
"Thomas you won't hurt Mr Zach anymore its not very nice!"
hahaha hello i am Mr Zach the kindergarten teacher, not those normal local kindergartens but an international one full of cute angmoh kids, hyper angmoh kids, a 4 yr old boy and a girl who kiss at the back of the class (im serious man..premature making out). My first real job yay. All i do is play with lego, cut activity sheets and go "aww dontch cry mummy will be back soon k! come i'll build a car for you!" haha and as josh oh and ben pointed out, u can teach the angmoh kids hokkien words to use on their parents when they go home hahahaha..but in all its actually quite fun and good money too! (my primary concern) AND SPEAKING OF MONEY, here's a tip for all j1s! pls study hard, and then intentionally screw up ur promo exams but do just enough to pass, and make a super comeback for ur j2 prelims and get a nice good progress award! $$$! free money and free laugh at muggers all arnd u who do consistently well that theres no good progress..hahaha kidding..anyway Mr Zach shall go for his naptime now..byebye
Saturday, December 03, 2005
6:42 PM
Dear Zacharoy,
you have successfully accumulated a total of 7 demerit points. you need to do CIP work (ie. doing service in any National Library Branches-not school library) to neutralise your demerit. For two hours of CIP work, I will neutralise one demerit. you have to do CIP asap because very soon you will find yourself sitting in front of the lift in the lobby. That is called suspension in ACJC!
Yours truly,
Mr Lynn
11/04/2005
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAHA
Saturday, October 29, 2005
1:34 AM
in light of the widespread relationship problems surrounding me, and my boredom as a result of studying, i thought of a super analogy linking footballers and their clubs with relationships.
ok consider 3 footballers, Steven Gerrard, Christian Vieri and Alan Smith.
Gerrard, the die-hard liverpool fan by heart, the world-class midfielder who spent his entire footballing career with the club that he loved, regardless of the erratic performances of the club, as seen from their treble-winning days to their midtable slump in the premiership, and from their historic champions league final victory against AC Milan to their abysmal start to the season following that. The player who was constantly wooed by the likes of Real Madrid but remained at the club where his heart lay, a club where chances of winning trophies and basking in glory were slim. Such was his love for Liverpool, undying, and regardless of the cold fact that his life at the club may not produce the trophies that represent the ideal footballing career.
Vieri, the legendary goal poacher, one of the finest in the trade in Italy. The player who was seen moving from club to club in search of more silverware and new excitements, from Juventus to Athletico Madrid to Lazio to Inter and now AC Milan. He may have spent a respectable 6 seasons in Inter, but his recent move to traditional city rivals AC Milan certainly signals a yearning for the thrill of silverware that supercedes his passion for his club, or at the very least, a desire for excitement at AC Milan which Inter failed to produce in recent years.
Finally, Alan Smith, the passionate hard-tackling striker turned midfielder who gives his 110% in every game that he plays for whatever club he's in, whether it be then-relegation threatened Leeds or underachieving Manchester United. The rare breed of players who will stick by their club through thick and thin until the event in which their club offloads them. Though not in the same breed as Gerrard or Vieri, his commitment to his cause at any club is one that is exceptional, to say the very least.
NOW, look at yourself as a player, and your girl/boyfriend or person that you have something going on with as your club.
So, are you a Gerrard? The one whose love supercedes any rough patch that you may be facing, or any periods in your relationship which may lack excitement. The one who knows that you may not always get what may be perceived to be ideal in a relationship, but still sticks faithfully to it anyway and gives your best, purely out of a fervent love for the other. The one who knows that you will be in high demand by popular names in the event of being single, but still remains loyal and steadfast all the same.
Or are you a Vieri? The one who goes into relationships in pursuit of excitement, or to feel fuzzy and happy all the time. However, when this is not achieved all the time, your interest in the other party fades and you search for other options that'll satisfy your craving. You're basically driven by the thrills of a relationship.
Or the Smith? The one who puts your best into all the relationships you've been in, are in, and will be in. The one who continues loving till the day the other party gets sick of you or figures that it wont work out. The one who may not be the best person around, but whose commitment in any relationship is priceless.
I'm not implying that being a Vieri makes you a toot, but at the end of the day, look at Gerrard clutching the champions league trophy and Smith finishing every match looking weary, but still hungry for more. Thats football and relationships for you man: shit happens, but love, commitment, hunger and desire give you the most satisfaction at the end of the day.
And who says Football isn't life
Saturday, June 25, 2005
11:49 PM
Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the Earth
to the depth of my heart
Let Your mercy and strength be seen
You call me to Your purpose
As angels understand
For Your glory, may You draw all men
As Your love and grace demand
And I will run to You
To Your words of truth
Not by might, not by power
But by the spirit of God
Yes I will run the race
'Till I see Your face
Oh let me live in the glory of Your grace
Thursday, June 16, 2005
3:10 AM
I'd let the fear in, let it take over, let it do its thing, but only for 5 seconds, that's all I was going to give it. So I started to count, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. Then it was gone.
-Jack, Lost
not just fear, it works for anything you wanna let go from your mind, when you close your eyes and let whatever it is engulf you: regret, pain, memories, blahblah. and when you're at 4, tell yourself that it'll be the last time you'll ever be feeling that way again.
but of course, there's always prayer haha
2:22 AM
regret
i dont like it
and i hate what i did to feel it
